This past Saturday, I embarked on what is in many ways the most vulnerable journey that I've ever taken, and it has caused me to think a lot about my own beliefs and what I perceive to be our collective beliefs regarding both giving and receiving.
As a Life Coach, I spend a lot of time mentoring my clients in how to receive. Let's face it: giving feels good. It brings us joy. We get to feel the warm fuzzies of making someone else's day better. It gives us a sense of validation and worth. When looking for quotations on this topic I found loads and loads of statements along the lines of, "He who gives is the golden child and deserves all of our love and adoration." But what about receiving? To open ourselves to communicate our needs, to allow ourselves to breathe in goodness, to fully own a compliment, to set boundaries for ourselves, to indulge in something that feels nurturing--these things all feel pretty darn scary to ask for, vulnerable, self-centered, you name it, and it certainly was challenging to find quotations that PRAISE receiving, barring our friend Nietzsche the Nihilist, quoted above. Isn't it the humble thing to shirk off a compliment, to decline help when it is offered? And God forbid one should be allowed to actually ASK for what one needs! Yikes!
Yes, it is true that when giving talks about cultivating joy in our lives, I invite people to approach their lives from a place of service, but I ALSO, invite people to take time to acknowledge themselves, to set healthy boundaries, to RECEIVE, to honor the truth of who they are. The truth is that giving and receiving are not separate actions at all--they are a part of the larger ebb and flow of existence. We cannot have one without the other, and we cannot have JOY without embracing both equally in our lives. We cannot breathe out without breathing in, and vice versa.
I love this quotation because it points to both giving and receiving as necessary acts--we need to give just as much as we need to receive, and when we don't allow ourselves to fully receive, we rob the giver of this need. Here is a recent story from a friend of mine that powerfully illustrates this:
"My younger son gave us some of his money yesterday and I took it and my husband refused. Then I got [my husband] to see that he should also gratefully take it. Then my son tried to give his older brother 5 bucks when he came home and the older one would NOT accept. And it made the younger one CRY. It was so sad. Yes, in failing to receive we fail the joy of the giver as well."
In receiving we give, and in giving, we receive--this little boy understands this, perfectly.
Yes, this past Saturday I embarked on one the most vulnerable journeys of my life thus far--I started an online fundraising campaign for my debut CD, "Be a Light." In the days since, I have felt isolation, shame, guilt, and my self-talk has been a fascinating array of judgments that reflect all of these feelings. I have boldly and courageously thrust myself into the role of receiver, and in this culture that praises givers, it has been a lonely place to live. And yet, I am growing, learning and simultaneously feeling more and more worthy to ask for what I need everyday. I realize now that fundraising has become a spiritual act for me--an opportunity to dive into these feelings and recognize that I am part of this larger ebb and flow, and that I am worth communicating my needs fully. I give of myself everyday as a giver, nurturer, and supporter of dreams. Now, it is my turn to open up and be a receptacle--to breathe in so that I can breathe out my musical goodness more fully into the world. As scary as this all is, I am proud of myself for boldly asking for support, and I hope that in my vulnerability, I might inspire others to do the same.
Click here to watch an amazing video and learn more about my fundraising journey:http://www.indiegogo.com/BeALightCD
"My younger son gave us some of his money yesterday and I took it and my husband refused. Then I got [my husband] to see that he should also gratefully take it. Then my son tried to give his older brother 5 bucks when he came home and the older one would NOT accept. And it made the younger one CRY. It was so sad. Yes, in failing to receive we fail the joy of the giver as well."
In receiving we give, and in giving, we receive--this little boy understands this, perfectly.
Yes, this past Saturday I embarked on one the most vulnerable journeys of my life thus far--I started an online fundraising campaign for my debut CD, "Be a Light." In the days since, I have felt isolation, shame, guilt, and my self-talk has been a fascinating array of judgments that reflect all of these feelings. I have boldly and courageously thrust myself into the role of receiver, and in this culture that praises givers, it has been a lonely place to live. And yet, I am growing, learning and simultaneously feeling more and more worthy to ask for what I need everyday. I realize now that fundraising has become a spiritual act for me--an opportunity to dive into these feelings and recognize that I am part of this larger ebb and flow, and that I am worth communicating my needs fully. I give of myself everyday as a giver, nurturer, and supporter of dreams. Now, it is my turn to open up and be a receptacle--to breathe in so that I can breathe out my musical goodness more fully into the world. As scary as this all is, I am proud of myself for boldly asking for support, and I hope that in my vulnerability, I might inspire others to do the same.
Click here to watch an amazing video and learn more about my fundraising journey:http://www.indiegogo.com/BeALightCD
With Much Love and Gratitude,
:)Melissa Simonson
Astrology Coach, Inspirational Speaker,
Astrology Coach, Inspirational Speaker,
and Singer-songwriter
www.igniteyourvoice.com
©2011 Melissa Simonson
www.igniteyourvoice.com
©2011 Melissa Simonson
