This Year I Resolve to be Kind to Myself *

A few days ago I misplaced my car keys for what felt like the millionth time.  Of course, it was only an hour before I had to lead an after school girl’s group at a local middle school; and of course, I realized that my car keys were sitting in the front seat of someone else’s car on the other side of town.  It was nothing short of a hair-pulling, expletive-screaming, time-to-pause-and-take-deep-breaths kind of experience.  Needless to say, I was more than a little bit frustrated with myself in that moment.

As we embark on yet another new year, I could resolve to end these car-key catastrophes once and for all—getting one, or perhaps 5, spare sets would probably solve the problem.  I could resolve to be more organized, thus avoiding these hectic moments, but let’s face it people.  I was the kid who not only needed her mittens sewn to the sleeves of her winter jacket, I was also the kid who needed an organizer on her desk in the fifth grade to ensure that she took the correct folders home from school.  If it’s not my keys, or my mittens, or my homework eluding me, then it’s probably going to be something else.  That’s just…me.  This year, instead of steeping myself in piles of well-wishes and adding to a list of good intentions that make my stomach churn, I simply resolve to be kind to myself.

In all of our good intentions it can become so easy to lose the most important ingredient in living a joyful life: the truth of who we are--the fact that we are loveable no matter what the bathroom scale says, or how much money is in our bank account, or how good we are at keeping track of our car keys.  As human beings, we attach ourselves to an illusion of perfection, the belief that we are somehow not enough as we are.  One day, we look into the mirror, and all that we can see are the ways in which we don’t measure up. 

The exciting news is that we have a choice.  We do not have to buy into that illusion.  We do not have to resolve to be somehow better than we are, to be more than we are, and it is entirely possible to love ourselves—as challenging as that may seem, at first.

One of the most powerful tools that we have in creating joy is our ability to acknowledge ourselves, to draw our attention to the good in who we are and what we do.  My primary role as a life coach is to direct my clients toward rediscovering the magnificence that shines through them every day.  The truth is YOU are magnificent. We all are.  We each have a unique gift to offer the world, and believe it or not, we each offer that gift every day that we rise.  I invite you to pause and ask yourself, “In what ways do I give a gift every single day?”

The more that you focus on all that is magnificent within you, the more you will see those parts of yourself thriving, and many of the parts that frustrate you will begin to fall away.  Just like we did when we were children, we thrive when we feel loved and accepted.  If you so desperately want to be good, to be a success, I suggest that you start seeking the good within yourself, right now.  You will be amazed at what you find.

One thing that I know for certain is that the part of me that causes me to misplace my car keys is also the part of me that allows me to be creative and quirky and spontaneously joyful.  I am constantly exploring and theorizing.  I am a woman of high ideals and bright ideas.  Organizing stuff might not be my forte, but being present and compassionate with people is.  If I hadn’t experienced my missing car-key fiasco the other day, I wouldn’t have had a laughter-producing story to share with the girls that I teach. 

And so, this year, before you resolve to climb a hill of high expectations, I invite you to pause and ask yourself, “In what ways do I give a gift every day?” Get creative—see how long that you can make that list; and if you forget to ask yourself that question, be kind to yourself anyway.  After all, you are magnificent…just as you are.

*Originally Published in the January 2010 edition of Wisconsin Woman Magazine.

:)Melissa Simonson
Astrology Coach, Inspirational Speaker,

and Singer-songwriter
www.igniteyourvoice.com

©2010 Melissa Simonson

WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR EZINE OR WEBSITE? No problem!--as long as you use this entire blurb with it: As an Astrology Coach, Speaker, and Singer/Songwriter, Melissa Simonson sees it as her life's work to be an authentic expression of her inner truth, and to assist others in being the same. Melissa creates a space of fun and acceptance as she invites her clients to discover the extraordinary within their everyday lives. By asking powerful questions and bringing the spiritual down to earth through her own stories, she helps individuals realize that joy and abundance are not impossible to obtain, but rather a birth-right that we can realize at any time. To learn more, visit: www.igniteyourvoice.com

So Much to Love...

I'm acutely aware of the rich abundance that is my life these days.  I'm noticing the people that I'm meeting, the opportunities that are unfolding, and I am seeing co-creation in action.  I'm tearing up about all of the goodness and magical wonder on a regular basis, which is always a good sign--my tears are always a product of abundant overflow within me and around me.

Yesterday, I found myself sitting down with a new friend and colleague and being in awe of his loving spirit, in awe of his desire to give, and in awe of his solid trust in the positive unfolding of his life.  At the end of our connection I experienced him uttering the words, "My last question for you is: What are some other ways that I can help you?"

I found myself walking away from this meeting feeling full--of gratitude, of love, of possibility.  What this lovely person didn't know at the time that he asked me this question (at least know consciously, that is), is that for a month or two now I have been verbalizing to loved ones that I'm learning how to ask for help, that I'm opening myself to receiving support, that 2011 is going to be about support and collaboration for me. I couldn't help but notice that this kind of question, "How can I help you?" has been showing up in my life in many forms lately.  I experience this as a response to this exciting shift that is happening inside of me--I am opening myself to become a true receptacle, and in turn I'm discovering a new overflow inside of me.  I'm feeling excited about my life in ways that I haven't felt in a long time.  I'm feeling connected to the Divine.  I'm trusting.  I'm believing in the power of my own actions in relationship to this flow of support.

And from this place, I couldn't help but notice all of the people it took--amazing, overflowing people--and small, courageous choices that it took me to get to this meeting with this one loving person.  I started going backwards and found that there was this connective chain of glorious people and choices that I've been acting upon that date back years and years.  As I've chosen to move in the direction of that which brings me the most joy, I've made connection after connection that continues to move me forward, to give me the resources that I need to give my unique gifts to the world.  Hallelujah.  When I open me eyes to see the interconnectedness of all that is, I can't help but discover that I live an abundant existence. 

Wishing the same abundant goodness for you!

:)Melissa Simonson
Astrology Coach, Inspirational Speaker,

and Singer-songwriter
www.igniteyourvoice.com

©2010 Melissa Simonson

WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR EZINE OR WEBSITE? No problem!--as long as you use this entire blurb with it: As an Astrology Coach, Speaker, and Singer/Songwriter, Melissa Simonson sees it as her life's work to be an authentic expression of her inner truth, and to assist others in being the same. Melissa creates a space of fun and acceptance as she invites her clients to discover the extraordinary within their everyday lives. By asking powerful questions and bringing the spiritual down to earth through her own stories, she helps individuals realize that joy and abundance are not impossible to obtain, but rather a birth-right that we can realize at any time. To learn more, visit: www.igniteyourvoice.com

Gratitude--A Light Amidst The Darkness

An oldie but goodie, I wrote the below article in December of 2008, but it's message continues to ring true today.

 

"I would maintain that thanks are the highest form of thought; and that gratitude is happiness doubled by wonder." ~G.K. Chesterton
As we travel amongst this season of shorter days and longer nights, it can be a challenge, at times, to find the light within the darkness. The holidays are fast approaching and some of us might not feel the abundance of joy at this time of year that we would like to, some of us might be struggling to pay our bills as the world economy is rapidly shifting, for some it might be a reminder of loss, and for some it can merely be a stressful time filled with too many expectations and not enough sunlight.

This time of year challenges us to turn inward. It is a time of reflection and renewal--a time to discover our own unique source of light. The clearest, simplest way for us to make that light shine brighter, to fuel our joy, is through our ability to be grateful for even the smallest of things, the tiniest of moments, including those things that challenge us or create feelings of pain.

People often wonder what comes first, gratitude or joy. It is easy to feel grateful when we are feeling happy--the world seems to be one big toy store filled with all we could ever ask for; the more joy we experience the more grateful we feel. Yet, it is truly our gratitude that fuels our joy. When we find ways to be grateful for even our struggle, seeing the opportunities those challenges create, the growth, we plant seeds of joy that sprout in even the coldest and darkest of places.

I invite you to ask yourself, "What do I have to be grateful for in this moment?" Pay attention to the air that is feeding your lungs with oxygen, the shelter around you, the clothing on your body, the fact that you are here to breathe-in this moment in the first place. That in itself is a miracle. Now think about the relationships in your life, the loving ones and even the not-so-loving ones--what blessings have you received from all of those connections? Whether or not you are in a time of challenge or ease right now, in what way is the Universe loving you at every moment? What is the gift of this time? If you really allow yourself to answer these questions, the gifts that you discover will be infinite.

I have most certainly felt the impact of the current state of our economy--my own clients getting laid off from jobs and less people choosing to invest in their own personal growth at this time of year, and yet, I feel more abundant than ever. The true gift of this time is that despite my inability to splurge on pretty things and travel adventures, I am happy. I am seeing how full my life is, that I ALWAYS have what I truly need, no matter what. As I prepare for a busier coaching season ahead, my relationship with my finances is clearer and healthier than ever. This awakening would not have been possible without the opportunity I've had to experience having significantly less. I feel very loved by this time because I now know how to better manage my money--that is clearly a life long lesson that will only bring me more!

In what ways are you being prepared for the life that you want for yourself? How might you turn times of struggle into opportunities for joy? As you discover the myriad of ways in which you have to be grateful (the list is endless--I promise!) you will discover a light to carry with you in even the darkest of times. The miracle of this season is not in the sparkling lights or our ability to top last year's presents, it lies in our ability to ignite that light of thankfulness within our hearts and shine it so that others might benefit from our joy. I invite you to dig deeply into even the darkest of spaces and delight in what you find.

Would you like some assistance in seeing the bigger picture and finding all that you have to be grateful for? I would love nothing more than to help you discover the beautiful life that awaits you. Through a series of powerful inquiries and looking at your Astrological Chart I can reveal some powerful tools that you have within you to start living a life of passion and purpose, NOW. Contact me for your FREE Joy-Awakening Call so that we can explore the many ways that my coaching will support you in living your best life OUT LOUD!: igniteyourvoice@gmail.com.

With Love and Deep Gratitude,

:)Melissa Simonson
Astrology Coach, Inspirational Speaker,

and Singer-songwriter
www.igniteyourvoice.com

©2008 Melissa Simonson

WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR EZINE OR WEBSITE? No problem!--as long as you use this entire blurb with it: As an Astrology Coach, Speaker, and Singer/Songwriter, Melissa Simonson sees it as her life's work to be an authentic expression of her inner truth, and to assist others in being the same. Melissa creates a space of fun and acceptance as she invites her clients to discover the extraordinary within their everyday lives. By asking powerful questions and bringing the spiritual down to earth through her own stories, she helps individuals realize that joy and abundance are not impossible to obtain, but rather a birth-right that we can realize at any time. To learn more, visit: www.igniteyourvoice.com

Say "YES!" to saying "NO!" :)

 

"Half of the troubles of this life can be traced to saying yes too quickly and not saying no soon enough." ~ Josh Billings

I found myself honored recently when a friend told me that she felt comfortable asking me for help because she trusted that I would say "no" if I didn't want to or was unable help.  This simple statement meant a lot to me and illustrates a powerful truth: When we honor ourselves and others with boundaries, we create ease, freedom, and comfort in our relationships.  My friend knew that she could trust me to be honest, that by asking me for help, I would not make myself uncomfortable in order to please her.  She felt free knowing that I am able to take responsibility for my own self-care, and she also felt really grateful upon receiving my "yes," knowing that it was heartfelt and sincere.

Every time that we say "yes" when we really mean "no," we are undermining our inherent worth.  We are saying, "I am not worthy of honoring what I want and what feels good to me.  If I want your love, I need to do something or be something that I am not."  Oh, silly Ego--always trying to tell us that we're not enough.  The truth is, YOU ARE ENOUGH!  The truth is, there is nothing that any of us ever has to do or be other than what feels nurturing to us.  When we honor this truth, we discover the beautiful, abundant, overwhelming power of self-love, TRUE love.  Every time that we jump through hoops in hopes to gain love and approval, we keep that love and approval at arms length--we are saying that love is something outside of us that we do not already possess within.  We do not serve anyone, ourselves or others, by dishonoring our internal "no."  Instead, we are merely giving our power away in our attempt to please.


The irony is that in all of our efforts to please, we are actually placing a lot of responsibility and burden on those that we care about.  My friend found freedom and comfort in my ability to say "no" because she didn't have to worry about whether or not I was feeling uncomfortable, harboring resentments, or going to have hidden expectations--she knew that she didn't have to be anything but simply grateful.  By practicing self-care on a regular basis, I gave her the space to practice her own self-care.  By setting healthy boundaries in my relationships, I am tapping into the love that is at my core and my "yes" can come from an internal space of feeling full--my kindness is able to come forth simply because I have love to give.  No neediness, no hidden expectations--by honoring my boundaries, I've become my own kind of high-powered love generator, with plenty to give and little need for outside maintenance. :)  


In what ways might you find yourself saying, "yes" when you really mean, "no?"  Whether it be your boss, your spouse, your best friend, your children, or the person you've just met, it can be so easy to find yourself slipping into this all-so-human pattern to please.  What are some of the positive ways that these relationships would start to shift by simply honoring your inner truth?  How would you feel about yourself if you practiced saying, "no" more often?  As always, I hope that you delight in what you find. 


©2010 Melissa Simonson

WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR EZINE OR WEBSITE? No problem!--as long as you use this entire blurb with it: As an Astrology Coach, Speaker, and Singer/Songwriter, Melissa Simonson sees it as her life's work to be an authentic expression of her inner truth, and to assist others in being the same. Melissa creates a space of fun and acceptance as she invites her clients to discover the extraordinary within their everyday lives. By asking powerful questions and bringing the spiritual down to earth through her own stories, she helps individuals realize that joy and abundance are not impossible to obtain, but rather a birth-right that we can realize at any time. Visit www.igniteyourvoice.com to learn more.

This showed up in my inbox today, and I hardcore loved it so much (and needed its medicine) that I thought it worth re-posting.  Much love to you all, and blessings as you continue to tune and re-tune into your own inner song.  :)Melissa

July 16, 2010

Tweet Less, Kiss More

By BOB HERBERT

I was driving from Washington to New York one afternoon on Interstate 95 when a car came zooming up behind me, really flying. I could see in the rearview mirror that the driver was talking on her cellphone.
I was about to move to the center lane to get out of her way when she suddenly swerved into that lane herself to pass me on the right — still chatting away. She continued moving dangerously from one lane to another as she sped up the highway.
A few days later, I was talking to a guy who commutes every day between New York and New Jersey. He props up his laptop on the front seat so he can watch DVDs while he’s driving.
“I only do it in traffic,” he said. “It’s no big deal.”
Beyond the obvious safety issues, why does anyone want, or need, to be talking constantly on the phone or watching movies (or texting) while driving? I hate to sound so 20th century, but what’s wrong with just listening to the radio? The blessed wonders of technology are overwhelming us. We don't control them; they control us.
We've got cellphones and BlackBerrys and Kindles and iPads, and we're e-mailing and text-messaging and chatting and tweeting — I used to call it Twittering until I was corrected by high school kids who patiently explained to me, as if I were the village idiot, that the correct term is tweeting. Twittering, tweeting — whatever it is, it sounds like a nervous disorder.
This is all part of what I think is one of the weirder aspects of our culture: a heightened freneticism that seems to demand that we be doing, at a minimum, two or three things every single moment of every hour that we're awake. Why is multitasking considered an admirable talent? We could just as easily think of it as a neurotic inability to concentrate for more than three seconds.
Why do we have to check our e-mail so many times a day, or keep our ears constantly attached, as if with Krazy Glue, to our cellphones? When you watch the news on cable television, there are often additional stories being scrolled across the bottom of the screen, stock market results blinking on the right of the screen, and promos for upcoming features on the left. These extras often block significant parts of the main item we're supposed to be watching.
A friend of mine told me about an engagement party that she had attended. She said it was lovely: a delicious lunch and plenty of Champagne toasts. But all the guests had their cellphones on the luncheon tables and had text-messaged their way through the entire event.
Enough already with this hyperactive behavior, this techno-tyranny and nonstop freneticism. We need to slow down and take a deep breath.
I'm not opposed to the remarkable technological advances of the past several years. I don't want to go back to typewriters and carbon paper and yellowing clips from the newspaper morgue. I just think that we should treat technology like any other tool. We should control it, bending it to our human purposes.
Let’s put down at least some of these gadgets and spend a little time just being ourselves. One of the essential problems of our society is that we have a tendency, amid all the craziness that surrounds us, to lose sight of what is truly human in ourselves, and that includes our own individual needs — those very special, mostly nonmaterial things that would fulfill us, give meaning to our lives, enlarge us, and enable us to more easily embrace those around us.
There’s a character in the August Wilson play “Joe Turner’s Come and Gone” who says everyone has a song inside of him or her, and that you lose sight of that song at your peril. If you get out of touch with your song, forget how to sing it, you're bound to end up frustrated and dissatisfied.
As this character says, recalling a time when he was out of touch with his own song, “Something wasn't making my heart smooth and easy.”
I don't think we can stay in touch with our song by constantly Twittering or tweeting, or thumbing out messages on our BlackBerrys, or piling up virtual friends on Facebook.
We need to reduce the speed limits of our lives. We need to savor the trip. Leave the cellphone at home every once in awhile. Try kissing more and tweeting less. And stop talking so much.
Listen.
Other people have something to say, too. And when they don't, that glorious silence that you hear will have more to say to you than you ever imagined. That is when you will begin to hear your song. That’s when your best thoughts take hold, and you become really you.

Copyright 2010 The New York Times Company

The Most Important Act

"As the bus slowed down at the crowded bus stop, the Pakistani bus conductor leaned from the platform and called out, "Six only!"  The bus stopped.  He counted on six passengers, rang the bell, and then, as the bus moved off, called to those left behind:  "So sorry, plenty of room in my heart - but the bus is full."  He left behind a row of smiling faces.  It's not what you do, it's the way that you do it."  ~The Friendship Book of Francis Gay, 1977

"If you want others to be happy, practice compassion.  If you want to be happy, practice compassion."  ~Dalai Lama

 

Being a pretty thoughtful person by nature, I've become hyper-aware lately of the ways in which I can all too easily go on auto-pilot and even be the one yelling at the person in the car in front of me that is taking his precious time making a left turn when I'm trying desperately to get somewhere that is "more important" than being right where I am in that moment...if I tape myself, I would probably both cringe and laugh at how ridiculous and "important" I sound in those moments.  But as I wrote in a song [Be Here Now] recently, "The moment before me is all that I need, the fear and the sadness my guide.  The more that I open to all that I see, the more I feel it all dissolve into love."  Part of being open to all that I see means being present for those who stand before me.  It means asking "How are you?" and actually pausing to listen for the answer.  It means recognizing that I'm...ahem...not the only person on the road who is trying to get somewhere.  It might seem like it takes energy to pay attention, but the cost of NOT paying attention proves much more detrimental in the long-run--to our mental, physical, spiritual, emotional well-being, not to mention the well-being of those around us.

 

As far as I'm concerned, the most important acts in life are those of kindness.  Being on time is cool, but not when it means being rude in order to get there (note to self...:)...).  Being right and passionately expressing in that righteousness has its place, but most of the time we can fall into a trap of being "right" rather than being kind.  Justice is not truly just without compassion and Truth bears no meaning without love.  Social justice just doesn't even seem very "social" when anger and argumentativeness take precedent in our relations with one another.  I understand getting things done--BP is not going to stop oil from spewing into the ocean by standing around hugging and smiling at each other, but they aren't going to get things done in argument with one another either.  Just think of how just our world would be if we all practiced regular acts of kindness--as in getting out of the way and REALLY listening to one another.

 

Yet, no matter how kind we feel ourselves to be at our core, it becomes all too easy to forget this one, basic truth--to get caught up in our heads, to feel that it is more important to get where we are going than to BE with the person in front of us, to feel that it is just too hard to reach out when life is pouring down on us.  But what truly matters most, what changes lives, what transforms our world, is our small actions, our ability to be kind to the person who stands before us.  

 

If you are questioning your purpose here on this planet...start with tiny acts of kindness, and you will soon discover that your question has been answered--it's easy to think that we have to do something BIG, but how we conduct ourselves and the people we touch when we're on the way to pursuing this big purpose, are really what matter.  If you are overwhelmed with life, if you are terrified of failure, if you have NO IDEA how to climb out of the hole that you find yourself in, be kind to the person in front of you and you will find your power.  Reach beyond your grief, do the vulnerable thing--smile, say hello, stop, listen, validate, seek out all that you share with the person beside you.  What will you find in Kindness' wake?  Joy.  What will you leave in Kindness' wake?  More Joy.  Blossoming lives.  Abounding goodness.

Let's try it, shall  we? :)

 

©2010 Melissa Simonson

WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR EZINE OR WEBSITE? No problem!--as long as you use this entire blurb with it: As an Astrology Coach, Inspirational Speaker and Singer/Songwriter, Melissa Simonson sees it as her life's work to be an authentic expression of her inner truth, and to assist others in being the same. Melissa creates a space of fun and acceptance as she invites her clients to discover the extraordinary within their everyday lives. By asking powerful questions and bringing the spiritual down to earth through her own stories, she helps individuals realize that joy and abundance are not impossible to obtain, but rather a birth-right that we can realize at any time. To Learn more visit: www.igniteyourvoice.com 

Bathing in the Mud of Our Lives

"Do you have the patience to wait
till your mud settles and the water is clear?
Can you remain unmoving
till the right action arises by itself?

The Master doesn't seek fulfillment.
Not seeking, not expecting,
she is present, and can welcome all things." 

~ The Tao Te Ching, Chapter 15

It is not in pushing or pulling, in forcing ourselves to have certain thoughts over others, or in forcing situations to move in one direction or the other that we cultivate joy in our lives.  It is when we first allow ourselves to feel whatever we are feeling, when we create time and space to bathe in the mud and muck of our existence that we make room for joy to peek it's shining head from below the murky surface.

In a new age of "positive thinking," I believe that people are being sadly misinformed to simply "stop thinking negative thoughts" or in that same vein, "to focus on the positive" when they are feeling anything but positive.  I invite you to raise your hand if it has ever worked for you to stop thinking negative thoughts, to stop feeling down, or to feel joy...on command.  (Ok, so I can't SEE you as you read this, but something tells me you are not raising your hand.)  Just as it rarely works to tell a small child to stop crying and get the desired results, as adults we cannot force our feelings from one direction to the other.  Just as that child will probably start crying harder and louder upon being told to stop, the ego voices in our heads will do the same if we ignore or resist our suffering.  Now don't get me wrong. I am the number one fan of gratitude, and finding beauty amidst the struggle, but I've learned that before I can appreciate the struggle, I have to allow the pain to run its course.  Yes people--a large part of feeling deep joy in our existence is in allowing ourselves to feel like total crap.

In our instant gratification society, we've programmed ourselves to resist all that is uncomfortable, to insure ourselves against unknown threats, to stay inside the lines of expectation in order to avoid unknown consequences.  At any glimpse of discomfort, something inside of us signals that we are standing in the middle of a burning fire, and we do whatever we can to jump out of it.  The irony is that by doing this, we only perpetuate our discomfort and add fuel to the fire of fear within us.  It is only by choosing to face the discomfort, to walk through the fire, that we discover the warm knowing, the sense of deeper fulfillment that inevitably follows; and sometimes "walking through the fire" means being still with our discomfort until we are inspired to act again.  Sitting with discomfort requires patience.  It is a courageous act of surrender.

One of my favorite mantras at the moment is the phrase, "Thy will be done."  This is a phrase that we hear spoken in the "Lord's Prayer" of the Christian tradition, and it is a phrase that I have come to see in a whole new light recently.  To me, when I speak this phrase, I am saying, "I trust you completely God/Universe/Spirit/Source/Life.  I trust that your will is for the highest good of all, and I surrender." In its natural state, all of life is built to thrive.  When I surrender to whatever is unfolding in my life, when I stop pushing and pulling in one direction or the other, I am getting out of the way of my ability to thrive.  I do not have all of the answers, and I never will.  It is only arrogant for me to believe that I can know at all times the best path to take for my life, but when I surrender, when I say, "Thy will be done," I am choosing to see that I am loved by every process that unfolds in my life.  It is in those moments of surrender, that my joy whispers the next step in my ear, and my path is illuminated once more.

In what ways do you resist your thoughts and feelings?  Are there areas of your life that you are trying to force?  Perhaps you have grown attached to an outcome that has become limiting or a vision of your life that has you feeling overwhelmed.  What would happen if you simply allowed yourself to feel it, to sit with that sense of struggle?  What would happen if you stopped running around or trying to "figure it out?"  What if you simply let yourself feel scared?  I invite you to breathe in that awareness.  Just take a couple of deep breaths.  As you allow yourself to wade into the mud of your life, as you choose to be patient while that mud settles and the waters run clear, I invite you to know that you are loved by every process that unfolds in your life.  You are magnificent and lovable even in your most vulnerable moments.  You were born to thrive as all that you are.  Breathe in.  Breathe out.

There is a peace that comes when we choose to honor the truth of what we are feeling.  I invite you to bathe in that truth.  Get messy.  Get muddy.  I hope that you delight in what you find.

©2010 Melissa Simonson

WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR EZINE OR WEBSITE? No problem!--as long as you use this entire blurb with it: As an Inspirational Speaker, Joy Coach and Spiritual Astrologer, Melissa Simonson sees it as her life's work to be an authentic expression of her inner truth, and to assist others in being the same. Melissa creates a space of fun and acceptance as she invites her clients to discover the extraordinary within their everyday lives. By asking powerful questions and bringing the spiritual down to earth through her own stories, she helps individuals realize that joy and abundance are not impossible to obtain, but rather a birth-right that we can realize at any time. Visit www.igniteyourvoice.com to learn more.

*Photo courtesy of: http://www.flickr.com/photos/14833125@N02/2825321490/

Feeling Abundant Amidst the Struggle

Toward the end of the week, I am scheduled to give a talk entitled "Joy is an Inside Job" at a local professional woman's networking group.  This is all fine and good, but if you were to check in with the loved one who stayed up late with me on the phone last night (Thank you!)...he could clue you in on my overwhelm, and the pain I've experienced in some crucial aspects of my life recently.  Someone once asked me what I would do if I was scheduled to give a talk on joy when I'm not feeling particularly joyful in my own life...last night, my answer would have been: Ugggggghhhhh.

It is the heart of winter in Madison, WI, single digit temperatures and not a lot of daylight.  With the dawning of 2010, I've found myself more exhausted than energized, feeling like I'd rather crawl under a rock than set a dynamic vision for the year to come.  This is actually not unusual for me at this time of year...all of the expectations around the New Year feed this insatiable voice inside of my head that's soul survival depends on my willingness to believe that I will be a failure, no matter how hard I try.  Overwhelming moments like this in my life are clear indicators that it is time to ignite MY voice again.  Somewhere along the way, I've begun to tune her out, and today, it was time to listen.

I decided to bundle myself up and go for a long walk in the Aldo Leopold Nature Center near my home.  I spent an hour there, listening to the snow crunching beneath my feet, looking at the tracks, and standing still while listening to the immense silence that winter emanates.  It was then, that I heard my voice, my consciousness underneath all of the chatter, and as tears welled up in my eyes here is what came to me:

I've come to notice that when I'm feeling intense sadness, fear, joy or gratitude I always cry--whether I'm feeling despair or immense joy, my body seems to respond in very much the same way. It is an outpouring of emotion, an overflow, an abundance of feeling. When I've thought about abundance, it is easy to think that some experiences constitute abundance and others do not, that we are only abundant when we are feeling joyful and not when we are feeling sad. But the truth is LIFE is abundant, every last moment of it. My overwhelming pain can be an example of this just as well as my joy is an example. My tears are a reminder of this. Even when I think that I have nothing left to give, my tears remind me of the abundance that flows up from the core of my being. When I remember that I AM abundant at all times, then even in my emptiest moments I can recognize glimpses of joy through my tears of pain.

As much joy as I can get from speaking about it and assisting others in discovering their joy, I have to remember sometimes that I've come to this life philosophy because I've allowed myself to feel ALL of life.  So what am I going to share in my talk at the end of the week?  I'm going to tell them the truth:  That early in the week I felt overwhelmed by life, and in my overwhelm, I dug in to find something beautiful.  I am going to share how I found joy, and tapped into abundance when it was the last thing that I was feeling.  Life is constantly showing me that darkness and light exist simultaneously.  Today, amidst the stark cold of winter, I found my own light by delving into the darkness.

©2010 Melissa Simonson 

WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR EZINE OR WEBSITE? No problem!--as long as you use this entire blurb with it: As an Inspirational Speaker, Joy Coach and Spiritual Astrologer, Melissa Simonson sees it as her life's work to be an authentic expression of her inner truth, and to assist others in being the same. Melissa creates a space of fun and acceptance as she invites her clients to discover the extraordinary within their everyday lives. By asking powerful questions and bringing the spiritual down to earth through her own stories, she helps individuals realize that joy and abundance are not impossible to obtain, but rather a birth-right that we can realize at any time. Visit www.igniteyourvoice.com to learn more.