The Wisdom in our Wounds

Today, I'm going to write about a not-so-little asteroid called Chiron, how it has shaped my life, and why it is one of the main astrological points that I explore with my clients when sharing the wisdom of their birth chart.  Chiron or Kheiron, gets its name from a Greek myth about a Centaur who was a great teacher and healer and also an immortal god.  At one point in Chrion's story, he is accidentally wounded by a venomous arrow, and the poison is so powerful that despite his immortality and great ability as a healer, he is unable to heal himself. 

In Astrology, Chrion is known as the "Wounded-Healer" asteroid and it not only points to our deepest emotional wound that we spend our whole life trying to heal, but it also points to our unique gift to the world.  As we grow in our suffering, we gain wisdom and compassion enough to heal others who are also suffering.  The more we understand this woundedeness, the more that we can come to a place of loving acceptance about ourselves and be a force for good in the world.  

In my birth chart, Chiron is in Taurus and at the very end of the 2nd house, which is actually calling in the energy of the 3rd house of Communication.  Chiron in Taurus gave me an overall sense of lack and unworthiness as a child, along with a feeling of scarcity regarding love and material security.  I could never have too many pretty things, and I often felt a void before needing to buy another thing. I also developed crushes on boys at a young age and always dreamed of being loved in return. Partnered with the energy of the 3rd House, I had a bit of a lisp and a stutter, and while I longed to be heard, I would always feel deeply exposed when it was my turn to talk. Inside, I was deeply eloquent, but every time I opened my mouth I felt like I had to prove myself.  At home, my temper would flare when I didn't feel heard or understood, and it would always make things worse--no one wants to listen to someone who is screaming and throwing things at them.  The louder I yelled, the more invisible I became.

Then there was the time in H.S. when I was voted "Most Talkative Female" and one classmate suggested that it was because "I never shut-up." (sigh....High School). So, what some folks would simply interpret as being considered a sign of sociability, struck my wound of never feeling like I could get it right in the communication department. In my early 20's there was also the boyfriend who just before I met his parents made sure to tell me not to "talk too much" as we approached the door, and even though his friends expressed how much they loved me when I met them, he made sure I knew that I talked too much then, too. Thank God for all that I learned from that junk...which included and was certainly not limited to making sure I no longer dated assholes.

Here's the fun part: It is no coincidence that I grew up to be a life coach committed to helping others build their sense of self-worth in order to find and confidently express their unique voices in the world. It is no coincidence that after all of the years of feeling like I have something important to say, that "miss talkative," is now an accomplished public speaker who people enjoy listening to. It is no coincidence that I love to write and that I find it healing to share my truth in both song and written word.  Yes, If I were to live only from my woundedness, I would be a boy-chasing, shopaholic who only wants to be heard. (At times in my life, I've been all of these). The good news is that I've also discovered the wisdom in my wounds, AND these wounds have made me beautiful, unique and magnificent.  By understanding my woundedness and developing coping skills to heal and nurture myself, I developed amazing skills that allow me to help others heal everyday. AND as I help my clients heal, I heal 10-fold.  This is Chiron's gift in our lives.

What is the wound that you are here to heal, and how has it shaped you into the magnificent person that you are today? Rather than trying to "fix" these parts of yourself, in what ways can you further embrace your wounds and gain wisdom from them?

Something that was big for me this week was choosing to post the above picture on my FB wall--it occurred to me that I've never actually made fun, in a loving way, while claiming this part of myself.  The truth is, I was born talkative, and I will die talkative (hopefully not mid-sentence, but you never know...:). What if I simply claim and LOVE myself for this part of me rather than always worrying that I'm somehow "too much?" Some people love this about me and some probably don't--I figure that I might as well be one of the lovers. :)

If you would like support in better understanding the wisdom of your wounds and to learn where Chiron is in your chart, I would love to help you with this! You can contact me  to schedule a consult: thejoydiva@gmail.com. I look forward to supporting you as you discover and speak your truth for all to hear.

Much Love,

Melissa Simonson
Founder & CEO of JoyDiva™
Own your worth. Own your wisdom.
CELEBRATE who you are! 

Ready to start cherishing yourself while actively creating more joy and confidence in your life? Claim your FREE Self-Love SuperStar Kit here:  www.joydiva.com

©2012 Melissa Simonson

Bathing in the Mud of Our Lives

"Do you have the patience to wait
till your mud settles and the water is clear?
Can you remain unmoving
till the right action arises by itself?

The Master doesn't seek fulfillment.
Not seeking, not expecting,
she is present, and can welcome all things." 

~ The Tao Te Ching, Chapter 15

It is not in pushing or pulling, in forcing ourselves to have certain thoughts over others, or in forcing situations to move in one direction or the other that we cultivate joy in our lives.  It is when we first allow ourselves to feel whatever we are feeling, when we create time and space to bathe in the mud and muck of our existence that we make room for joy to peek it's shining head from below the murky surface.

In a new age of "positive thinking," I believe that people are being sadly misinformed to simply "stop thinking negative thoughts" or in that same vein, "to focus on the positive" when they are feeling anything but positive.  I invite you to raise your hand if it has ever worked for you to stop thinking negative thoughts, to stop feeling down, or to feel joy...on command.  (Ok, so I can't SEE you as you read this, but something tells me you are not raising your hand.)  Just as it rarely works to tell a small child to stop crying and get the desired results, as adults we cannot force our feelings from one direction to the other.  Just as that child will probably start crying harder and louder upon being told to stop, the ego voices in our heads will do the same if we ignore or resist our suffering.  Now don't get me wrong. I am the number one fan of gratitude, and finding beauty amidst the struggle, but I've learned that before I can appreciate the struggle, I have to allow the pain to run its course.  Yes people--a large part of feeling deep joy in our existence is in allowing ourselves to feel like total crap.

In our instant gratification society, we've programmed ourselves to resist all that is uncomfortable, to insure ourselves against unknown threats, to stay inside the lines of expectation in order to avoid unknown consequences.  At any glimpse of discomfort, something inside of us signals that we are standing in the middle of a burning fire, and we do whatever we can to jump out of it.  The irony is that by doing this, we only perpetuate our discomfort and add fuel to the fire of fear within us.  It is only by choosing to face the discomfort, to walk through the fire, that we discover the warm knowing, the sense of deeper fulfillment that inevitably follows; and sometimes "walking through the fire" means being still with our discomfort until we are inspired to act again.  Sitting with discomfort requires patience.  It is a courageous act of surrender.

One of my favorite mantras at the moment is the phrase, "Thy will be done."  This is a phrase that we hear spoken in the "Lord's Prayer" of the Christian tradition, and it is a phrase that I have come to see in a whole new light recently.  To me, when I speak this phrase, I am saying, "I trust you completely God/Universe/Spirit/Source/Life.  I trust that your will is for the highest good of all, and I surrender." In its natural state, all of life is built to thrive.  When I surrender to whatever is unfolding in my life, when I stop pushing and pulling in one direction or the other, I am getting out of the way of my ability to thrive.  I do not have all of the answers, and I never will.  It is only arrogant for me to believe that I can know at all times the best path to take for my life, but when I surrender, when I say, "Thy will be done," I am choosing to see that I am loved by every process that unfolds in my life.  It is in those moments of surrender, that my joy whispers the next step in my ear, and my path is illuminated once more.

In what ways do you resist your thoughts and feelings?  Are there areas of your life that you are trying to force?  Perhaps you have grown attached to an outcome that has become limiting or a vision of your life that has you feeling overwhelmed.  What would happen if you simply allowed yourself to feel it, to sit with that sense of struggle?  What would happen if you stopped running around or trying to "figure it out?"  What if you simply let yourself feel scared?  I invite you to breathe in that awareness.  Just take a couple of deep breaths.  As you allow yourself to wade into the mud of your life, as you choose to be patient while that mud settles and the waters run clear, I invite you to know that you are loved by every process that unfolds in your life.  You are magnificent and lovable even in your most vulnerable moments.  You were born to thrive as all that you are.  Breathe in.  Breathe out.

There is a peace that comes when we choose to honor the truth of what we are feeling.  I invite you to bathe in that truth.  Get messy.  Get muddy.  I hope that you delight in what you find.

©2010 Melissa Simonson

WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR EZINE OR WEBSITE? No problem!--as long as you use this entire blurb with it: As an Inspirational Speaker, Joy Coach and Spiritual Astrologer, Melissa Simonson sees it as her life's work to be an authentic expression of her inner truth, and to assist others in being the same. Melissa creates a space of fun and acceptance as she invites her clients to discover the extraordinary within their everyday lives. By asking powerful questions and bringing the spiritual down to earth through her own stories, she helps individuals realize that joy and abundance are not impossible to obtain, but rather a birth-right that we can realize at any time. Visit www.igniteyourvoice.com to learn more.

*Photo courtesy of: http://www.flickr.com/photos/14833125@N02/2825321490/