The Wisdom in our Wounds

Today, I'm going to write about a not-so-little asteroid called Chiron, how it has shaped my life, and why it is one of the main astrological points that I explore with my clients when sharing the wisdom of their birth chart.  Chiron or Kheiron, gets its name from a Greek myth about a Centaur who was a great teacher and healer and also an immortal god.  At one point in Chrion's story, he is accidentally wounded by a venomous arrow, and the poison is so powerful that despite his immortality and great ability as a healer, he is unable to heal himself. 

In Astrology, Chrion is known as the "Wounded-Healer" asteroid and it not only points to our deepest emotional wound that we spend our whole life trying to heal, but it also points to our unique gift to the world.  As we grow in our suffering, we gain wisdom and compassion enough to heal others who are also suffering.  The more we understand this woundedeness, the more that we can come to a place of loving acceptance about ourselves and be a force for good in the world.  

In my birth chart, Chiron is in Taurus and at the very end of the 2nd house, which is actually calling in the energy of the 3rd house of Communication.  Chiron in Taurus gave me an overall sense of lack and unworthiness as a child, along with a feeling of scarcity regarding love and material security.  I could never have too many pretty things, and I often felt a void before needing to buy another thing. I also developed crushes on boys at a young age and always dreamed of being loved in return. Partnered with the energy of the 3rd House, I had a bit of a lisp and a stutter, and while I longed to be heard, I would always feel deeply exposed when it was my turn to talk. Inside, I was deeply eloquent, but every time I opened my mouth I felt like I had to prove myself.  At home, my temper would flare when I didn't feel heard or understood, and it would always make things worse--no one wants to listen to someone who is screaming and throwing things at them.  The louder I yelled, the more invisible I became.

Then there was the time in H.S. when I was voted "Most Talkative Female" and one classmate suggested that it was because "I never shut-up." (sigh....High School). So, what some folks would simply interpret as being considered a sign of sociability, struck my wound of never feeling like I could get it right in the communication department. In my early 20's there was also the boyfriend who just before I met his parents made sure to tell me not to "talk too much" as we approached the door, and even though his friends expressed how much they loved me when I met them, he made sure I knew that I talked too much then, too. Thank God for all that I learned from that junk...which included and was certainly not limited to making sure I no longer dated assholes.

Here's the fun part: It is no coincidence that I grew up to be a life coach committed to helping others build their sense of self-worth in order to find and confidently express their unique voices in the world. It is no coincidence that after all of the years of feeling like I have something important to say, that "miss talkative," is now an accomplished public speaker who people enjoy listening to. It is no coincidence that I love to write and that I find it healing to share my truth in both song and written word.  Yes, If I were to live only from my woundedness, I would be a boy-chasing, shopaholic who only wants to be heard. (At times in my life, I've been all of these). The good news is that I've also discovered the wisdom in my wounds, AND these wounds have made me beautiful, unique and magnificent.  By understanding my woundedness and developing coping skills to heal and nurture myself, I developed amazing skills that allow me to help others heal everyday. AND as I help my clients heal, I heal 10-fold.  This is Chiron's gift in our lives.

What is the wound that you are here to heal, and how has it shaped you into the magnificent person that you are today? Rather than trying to "fix" these parts of yourself, in what ways can you further embrace your wounds and gain wisdom from them?

Something that was big for me this week was choosing to post the above picture on my FB wall--it occurred to me that I've never actually made fun, in a loving way, while claiming this part of myself.  The truth is, I was born talkative, and I will die talkative (hopefully not mid-sentence, but you never know...:). What if I simply claim and LOVE myself for this part of me rather than always worrying that I'm somehow "too much?" Some people love this about me and some probably don't--I figure that I might as well be one of the lovers. :)

If you would like support in better understanding the wisdom of your wounds and to learn where Chiron is in your chart, I would love to help you with this! You can contact me  to schedule a consult: thejoydiva@gmail.com. I look forward to supporting you as you discover and speak your truth for all to hear.

Much Love,

Melissa Simonson
Founder & CEO of JoyDiva™
Own your worth. Own your wisdom.
CELEBRATE who you are! 

Ready to start cherishing yourself while actively creating more joy and confidence in your life? Claim your FREE Self-Love SuperStar Kit here:  www.joydiva.com

©2012 Melissa Simonson

Honesty that heals...

“Rather than letting our negativity get the better of us, we could acknowledge that right now we feel like a piece of shit and not be squeamish about taking a good look.” 

― Pema Chödrön

Today is an interesting day filled with many mixed emotions. I've been in a state of grief for the last few days as I continue to process the end of a very significant relationship in my life. One of the most challenging things about grief, primarily in the depression stage, is how difficult that it is to "keep on keepin' on." I've found myself struggling not to isolate, struggling to maintain my healthy routines, even things as simple as washing my face or brushing my teeth before bed. A voice inside of my head says, "Just let me off the hook. I just want to wallow in the emptiness that I feel." If there is anything that I've learned in my 30 years; however, it's that the BEST thing to do for myself is to continue to practice self-care, especially the little things. I've also learned that I have to be authentic, which is why I'm blogging about this. Pretending to be "ok" when I'm not is like taking a knife to the existing wound and making it deeper. Honesty takes a big old flashlight to the darkness of grief and releases the shame, guilt and self-loathing that can often hide in its hidden cracks and corners. Every time I write or speak about the truth of where I am, I shed another layer of the pain.  I remind myself that I actually am ok, that I will get through this and as Pema so delicately puts it above, that right now, I "feel like a piece of shit" and that's ok, too.

It's easy to isolate during times of grief because of the pressure to be happy--in my line of work, I can be tremendously hard on myself with this. I can feel like I always have to have something happy to say, something inspiring, that somehow people are relying on me to be happy. I have certainly had a party questioning those thoughts! Whew! This morning, I sang in the choir at my church, and while I wanted to avoid the question of "How are you?" at all costs, I found that it was nice to simply be real with people, and I found myself amongst compassionate friends, amongst community.  That experience of the collective around me was an important piece in unraveling one of the cornerstones of my grief: "that I am all alone." Did that experience take all of the pain away? No, but it did pull me out of my suffering long enough to remember that there is a great big world out their that exists outside of my head. While I find it helpful in many ways to grieve in private, I find that part of the vigilance of living an honest life lies in choosing not to hide from the shame that accompanies sadness. I find it to be an important part of recognizing and embracing my humanity. God forbid that I'm just a mere mortal! :)  I've been playing with the following statement a lot lately:

"I have found that I'm not as 'good' as I thought or as 'bad' as I feared. I am not heroine or villain. I am living with my actual self & seeing what that is. Neither idealizing nor being idealized. It is more painful than I had imagined. Also more dimensional. I find myself stumbling hand in hand w/ forgiveness as a much closer entity." ~ SARK from Prosperity Pie

Part of my grief experience has been recognizing that I'm not angel nor am I demon--my ego wants to pendulum swing between the two so that I'm either elated or filled with self-loathing.  Part of losing a relationship and the grief that accompanies it is feeling like an unworthy, unlovable person--we see ourselves as the villain that must be undeserving of love.  The truth is that we are glorious, messy, imperfect, human beings and lovable no matter what. This is my work now: to continue to come back to that place of truth about myself. I've found myself singing the song I wrote last year called It's Alright, that will be on my upcoming album "Be a Light:"

"It's Alright. It's Alright. It's plain to see we're only human. When we forgive ourselves, and love despite our frailities, we are divine." 

(You can take a listen here, if you'd like: http://www.reverbnation.com/play_now/song_10626711)

Despite the urge to hide or simply be a bum who stares at the wall all day arrested by my painful thoughts, I am continuing to care for my body, and to care for my tender spirit through reflection and forgiveness. Though it all feels like monotony to me right now, each little act is feeding my spirit love and restoring my strength and belief in life's goodness.  

With Love,

Melissa Simonson
Founder & CEO of JoyDiva™
Own your worth. Own your wisdom.
CELEBRATE who you are! 

Ready to start cherishing yourself while actively creating more joy and confidence in your life? Claim your FREE Self-Love SuperStar Kit here:  www.joydiva.com

©2011 Melissa Simonson