Risking It All: The Messy Path of Creativity

A friend asked me recently to share about my creative process. How did I get to this point in my life where I've created my own unique form of  Astrology Coaching, I'm writing songs and performing, creating workshops, products and programs and pretty much making up my career...and my life...as I go? What are some tools that I utilize to tap into and unleash my creativity? At first, I was at a bit of a loss to answer this question..."I color in my free time?" (as in, in coloring books...) was my initial response. :/ Far from satisfied with my answer, I've been reflecting a lot on my creative process in the weeks that have followed that conversation, and here's what I've been discovering.

Let's face it: Life in all of it's miraculous wonder can be scary shit sometimes. The risk of failure appears to loom large around every corner. There is rejection, and heartbreak, and disappointment, and loss, and grief...and then more grief, and then a little bit more. The creative process looks at all of these thoughts about life, all of the painful experiences and the scary unknowns, loves them up, transforms them, and then, breathes new life.  

The concept of "failure" doesn't actually fit into the vocabulary of the creative process, because well, creativity is, um, a process. :) Creativity isn't something that you get "right"--it's something that you practice at again and again and again. It's a journey. Far from being about arriving at some destination, creativity is a way of life. It is about diving into the muddiness head first and getting really, really messy. The creative process requires us to take the path that isn't safe, that could hurt a little bit...or a lot...in order to discover great joy. It asks that we leave our comfort zones checked at the back door and embrace a life of feeling all of our feelings...diving into grief, and despair, and longing, and joy and wonder, living through those feelings and discovering the beauty that exists in every corner of our existence. Yes, when I write a song, when I ACTUALLY finish a song, there is a sense of arriving at a destination. I feel a deep sense of gratitude and completion for what I have birthed into the world. But the song is not actually done until I love it, until it feels like a true authentic expression of what I'm trying to share, and even then, it is just one step along my continual process of becoming.

I choose not to live my life safely. I've had my heart broken, I've been financially destitute, I've felt deeply alone and deeply connected. The specifics of my own creative journey are mine and mine alone--you do not have to become financially destitute in order to be creative, for example (that was really just poor planning on my part and a great topic for another day...;), but in order to create, we do have to surrender what we know for what we are about to discover. In order to create a new horizon, I've had to risk walking away from the one I've known in order to create the next one. People might think I'm fearless, which can only make me laugh. Courageous, yes. Fearless...I don't think so.

I've learned to make my fear a tool for creation. When I choose to question my fear and to understand it, my fear can become my greatest ally in the process. Once I understand all that I am afraid of and what is so scary about moving forward, I've tapped into what is real. For me, once I get to the truth and I get really honest and real with myself, that is when I'm "plugged in" and the creative juices are really flowing. It takes courage to face, question and then befriend our fears--the days when I'm willing to do that are usually the days when I create something beautiful.

Other things that I've learned:

1) I have to make a lot of time to observe life, to listen to my inner voice and simply be. (This is where taking time to color comes in, as well as regular journaling, taking walks, sitting in cafes, drawing forth wisdom from my goddess cards, allowing myself to have days with no agenda, etc.) When I'm busy doing all of the time, living in a state of mental distraction, I become closed off from inspiration. The first step in creation is for us to become receptacles, conduits for the Universe/God/Spirit/Source to fill us up and ignite our inner voice, the longing within us to birth something uniquely ours. The second step is to then willingly take the risk to walk (or in some cases, leap) toward that longing.

2) The act of creation is not actually a solo effort. We co-create every aspect of our lives with this beautiful Universe in which we are a part. Creativity requires that we take the risk to grow in our sense of trust that we are loved by every process unfolding in our lives. It requires that we let go of our need to be in control in order to discover that we are constantly cradled by all of existence. Along this same line, it is crucial that we fill our lives with people who we love and love us, who nurture us and make all kinds of space for us to show up fully as we are. It is so important that we have relationships in our lives that we can plug into and both receive and feel useful. Part of opening ourselves up for inspiration means that we are choosing to share who we are honestly in the world and taking the risk to become truly connected to the people around us. Love and Truth in all of their forms are the life-blood of creativity.

3) Feeling all of our emotions can scare us and make us feel "off balance" at times, but that's the beauty of life. Just like our bodies are constantly working to maintain homeostasis, the Universe is doing the same. Allowing yourself to feel whatever it is that you need to feel puts you in balance with the larger flow of existence. It is in this flow that the magical process of creativity happens. Getting "off-balance" on our path to deeper fulfillment is far from being off-balance with the flow of life.

4) Taking really good care of myself--taking care of my body with good food and exercise and sleep, honoring my inner "yes's" and "no's" in my relationships, being flexible and giving myself all kinds of permission to honor my internal rhythms--is crucial in feeling confident enough to take leaps into the creative unknown. Taking yummy, good care of myself is like preparing the soil to plant and harvest my beautiful garden.

5) The biggest challenge to creativity is the human mind--I can get hugely in my own way with thoughts of "right" vs. "wrong," "good" & "bad." What I'm creating is certainly something that I hope will be of loving benefit to the world, but I can get stopped in my tracks when I start thinking about, "what others will think." If I like what I've created then I know it's exactly what it needs to be. If you find yourself getting all blocked up for fear of not being good enough, be honest with yourself and use that fear as a tool...journal about it, seek to understand what is so scary and use that fear as fuel for your creation. Again, what is most important is that YOU feel glorious about your own creation. Allow yourself to relish in that. My song "Mr. Shame" is a good one that addresses a lot of this stuff: 

K, that's enough for now. Many blessings to you as you continue to create your wild, messy, and deeply satisfying lives. If you need help getting out of the way of your creative process...shoot me an email, and we'll talk about it. :)

Much love,

Melissa Simonson
Founder & CEO of JoyDiva™
Own your worth. Own your wisdom.
CELEBRATE who you are! 

Visit my Q&A blog and get your Life, Relationship and Spiritual Questions answered:  www.askthejoydiva.com

©2012 Melissa Simonson

Receving As a Spiritual Act

"Should not the giver be thankful that the receiver received? Is not giving a need? Is not receiving mercy?" ~Nietzsche

This past Saturday, I embarked on what is in many ways the most vulnerable journey that I've ever taken, and it has caused me to think a lot about my own beliefs and what I perceive to be our collective beliefs regarding both giving and receiving. 

As a Life Coach, I spend a lot of time mentoring my clients in how to receive.  Let's face it: giving feels good.  It brings us joy.  We get to feel the warm fuzzies of making someone else's day better.  It gives us a sense of validation and worth.  When looking for quotations on this topic I found loads and loads of statements along the lines of, "He who gives is the golden child and deserves all of our love and adoration."  But what about receiving?  To open ourselves to communicate our needs, to allow ourselves to breathe in goodness, to fully own a compliment, to set boundaries for ourselves, to indulge in something that feels nurturing--these things all feel pretty darn scary to ask for, vulnerable, self-centered, you name it, and it certainly was challenging to find quotations that PRAISE receiving, barring our friend Nietzsche the Nihilist, quoted above.  Isn't it the humble thing to shirk off a compliment, to decline help when it is offered?  And God forbid one should be allowed to actually ASK for what one needs!  Yikes!

Yes, it is true that when giving talks about cultivating joy in our lives, I invite people to approach their lives from a place of service, but I ALSO, invite people to take time to acknowledge themselves, to set healthy boundaries, to RECEIVE, to honor the truth of who they are.  The truth is that giving and receiving are not separate actions at all--they are a part of the larger ebb and flow of existence.  We cannot have one without the other, and we cannot have JOY without embracing both equally in our lives.  We cannot breathe out without breathing in, and vice versa.

"Should not the giver be thankful that the receiver received? Is not giving a need? Is not receiving mercy?" ~Nietzsche

I love this quotation because it points to both giving and receiving as necessary acts--we need to give just as much as we need to receive, and when we don't allow ourselves to fully receive, we rob the giver of this need.  Here is a recent story from a friend of mine that powerfully illustrates this:

"My younger son gave us some of his money yesterday and I took it and my husband refused. Then I got [my husband] to see that he should also gratefully take it. Then my son tried to give his older brother 5 bucks when he came home and the older one would NOT accept. And it made the younger one CRY. It was so sad. Yes, in failing to receive we fail the joy of the giver as well."

In receiving we give, and in giving, we receive--this little boy understands this, perfectly.

Yes, this past Saturday I embarked on one the most vulnerable journeys of my life thus far--I started an online fundraising campaign for my debut CD, "Be a Light."  In the days since, I have felt isolation, shame, guilt, and my self-talk has been a fascinating array of judgments that reflect all of these feelings.  I have boldly and courageously thrust myself into the role of receiver, and in this culture that praises givers, it has been a lonely place to live.  And yet, I am growing, learning and simultaneously feeling more and more worthy to ask for what I need everyday.  I realize now that fundraising has become a spiritual act for me--an opportunity to dive into these feelings and recognize that I am part of this larger ebb and flow, and that I am worth communicating my needs fully.  I give of myself everyday as a giver, nurturer, and supporter of dreams.  Now, it is my turn to open up and be a receptacle--to breathe in so that I can breathe out my musical goodness more fully into the world.  As scary as this all is, I am proud of myself for boldly asking for support, and I hope that in my vulnerability, I might inspire others to do the same.

Click here to watch an amazing video and learn more about my fundraising journey:http://www.indiegogo.com/BeALightCD

With Much Love and Gratitude,

:)Melissa Simonson
Astrology Coach, Inspirational Speaker,

and Singer-songwriter
www.igniteyourvoice.com

©2011 Melissa Simonson