Trust: That Scary 5-Letter Word

Trusting, having faith--let's face it: our lives would be filled with peace and ease if we could have perfect faith, if we could completely trust that our lives are unfolding for the highest good of all concerned at every moment. But faith cannot exist without doubt, trust without mistrust. This is part of the beauty of our human existence--it is this balance of opposites, and in holding the tension that they create, that we discover the goop that makes life abundantly rich and rewarding. But how do we strike this balance when it seems that fear and mistrust can so easily dominate the picture?

I've found myself going through an important growth spurt lately, discovering myself ready to start embracing my career as an inspirational songstress more fully and ready to re-enter the world of romantic partnership. With these unfolding discoveries comes a range of emotions--there is excitement and a sense of magic around the possibilities that lie around the bend, a sense of grounded determination for the work that I must do to birth the next chapter of my life, and then there is the fear and overwhelm and the thoughts of "when?" and "how?" that keep trying to come in and crash the party. 

Through the past 5.5 years of coaching clients and growing leaps and bounds myself, I've discovered that fear, anxiety and overwhelm are great indicators that we've gotten way too far ahead of ourselves and are swimming in the murky depths of our unknown future. When the scales tip and I'm suddenly drowning in a sense of overwhelm and feeling paralyzed to take action in the direction of my dreams, the best thing that I can do is bring my attention back to the baby steps that lie right in front of me. How can we trust that our actions will lead us to something good? Taking action on things that make us come alive IS the trust itself, and that trust only grows the more that we take action on those things that inspire us.

Ok, so you've taken inspired action and nothing is happening...yet. What the heck are you supposed to do in the meantime? How do you know that you are doing ENOUGH? I will tell you that the answer definitely does not exist in doing more stuff. If you've followed inspiration and planted seeds, now is the time to put your attention elsewhere while looking forward to the opportunities that will pop up when you least expect them to. (That's the part that makes life so dang magical!) If you haven't noticed already, you can't force a flower to grow, and the same goes for creating our lives. The other way that we actively practice trust is through taking a rest when our heart needs a rest.

Lately, I've been letting myself take more breaks and giving myself all kinds of room to be inspired. When I'm inspired, then I take all kinds of action and work my booty off. When I'm not inspired, I read good novels, I play, I take naps. When I tune into my own rhythms, I tune into the flow of the Universe, and trust just isn't so much of an issue. Right now, there are a lot of unknowns. I'm releasing some beliefs that have been limiting me and that feels really vulnerable...and also more freeing. I'm tuning in regularly and following that sense of freedom, and I know in my heart that God loves my joy and freedom just as much as I do...and my trust in that awareness grows every day that I learn to honor the ebb and flow of inspiration.

Do you have some big dreams that are really exciting and really scary? Feel free to contact me and we'll talk about it--we'll have you taking baby steps in no time. :) You can also ask me your juicy questions at my Q&A blog: http://askthejoydiva.com. I love answering your questions!

Much love & happy dreaming. :)

Melissa Simonson
Founder & CEO of JoyDiva™
Own your worth. Own your wisdom.
CELEBRATE who you are!

Claim your FREE Self-Love SuperStar Kit here: www.joydiva.com

Visit my Q&A blog and get your Life, Relationship and Spiritual Questions answered:  www.askthejoydiva.com

©2012 Melissa Simonson

When "Spiritual" isn't cutting it...

"God dwells within you...as you. God's not interested in watching a performance of how a spiritual person looks and behaves. The quiet girl who glides silently through the place with a gentle, ethereal smile...who is that person? It's Ingrid Bergman in "The Bells of St. Mary's" – not me. God dwells within me...as me."

~ Elizabeth Gilbert, Eat, Pray, Love

Being an Astrology Coach and often referred to as a "Spiritual Life Coach," I can easily fall into a trap of feeling like I have to somehow "rise above" my humanity, that it's "my job" to seek the good in all people and situations. Much of the time, I am pretty good at that. I do get a lot of the ways to create my joy, and I live a pretty joyful existence. I can feel a lot of balance, peace and gratitude in my daily life.

But here's the deal: No matter what I do for a living, it is not my job to be spiritual. It is my job to be me...real, messy, learning, growing, struggling, striving and sometimes thriving...me. This goes for all of us, actually. What I see so often in myself and in the people I'm blessed to support is this sense like we "should" know better. We think we are "better than" our anger, or hurt, or jealousy or fear. We find ourselves taking things personally or being upset with someone and we say, "The loving thing, the spiritual thing, would be to simply do the work, question our thoughts, to release our fear, do the forgiveness thing, to be kind and loving, and let it go. Yes, this is a beautiful approach to life and relationships, and sometimes we just have to cut ourselves a break. In order to get to the forgiveness part and the loving kindness part, I have to own that this junk I'm feeling in the moment is real and it's not going anywhere until I'm real right along with it.

Over the past few weeks, I've been dealing with some intense grief as I go through my own death and rebirth cycle with a significant relationship in my life and ultimately, with my relationship that I have with myself. I have felt so many emotions and I've vigilantly questioned my thoughts and revealed to myself places that I've been creating an unhealthy story. I've been like a bounty hunter for limiting thoughts that are causing my suffering, blasting through them to find what's true. I find myself today still processing this grief and when thinking about blogging, I thought, "I can't STILL be writing about my grief! I should be over this by now! What's wrong with me?! I'm a Spiritual Life Coach, for goodness sake!" My ego self seems to think that being a Spiritual Life Coach makes me something other than human, me thinks. :) The truth is that whether I were in the line of work that I am or not, I would still be hard on myself in this way.  Should's and ought's and woulda-coulda's seem to find a way of creeping in no matter who we are and what we do.

Today I'm doing more to make peace with my grief. I've put away my AK-47, seeing as how it's been exhausting being a spiritual vigilante on this mission to liberate my mind. Yes, I have all kinds of tools, and I've learned a lot as I've pulled them out in an effort to nurture myself. Now, I'm making peace with thoughts of anger and jealousy. I'm making peace with the part of me that has been resisting this whole process and telling me how I should be feeling and acting. I could argue with reality or I could just be real. There have been times that I don't feel like seeing the good in this situation or in certain people. There have been times when I've been a blubbering, snotty mess. I've placed love outside of myself. I've held my breath hoping that certain outcomes that are out of my control would magically be IN my control. I've been afraid. I've struggled to see the big picture. I've felt completely out of balance. I've felt completely UN-spiritual.  And guess what? It is in that space that the growth-work is happening. 

I've been thinking a lot about one of my favorite books and favorite films lately, Eat, Pray, Love. Liz Gilbert's journey through Italy, India, and Spain, completely capture my life's work to nurture my relationship with myself and help others do the same. I've been single since January and LOVING my growth and loving how balanced and happy that I've felt. Then the grief came and I found myself questioning if everything that I've learned has been for nothing, if that sense of balance was an illusion. There is a particular quotation from the movie that comes to mind to me right now. Liz is so upset with herself because she has fallen in love and gotten completely out of balance with herself. She goes to her teacher, Ketut Liyer, and expresses to him her fear that she is losing herself in love, and this is what he says to her: "To lose balance sometimes for love is part of living a balanced life." I would go so far as to say that to lose balance for any aspect of life is part of living a balanced life. So here I am, feeling out of balance and completely un-spiritual--and I'm actually right where I need to be, in balance with all that is.

By surrendering my need to stop myself from trying to control outcomes--even as I've seen myself creating suffering for myself--I lean into the greater balance. I've created much more suffering for myself in times of trying to be spiritual instead of just letting all the nitty, gritty, catty parts of me show their head. Make no mistake, I am still doing my best to curb the destructive nature of these emotions--I'm not burning buildings or destroying lives, no hate mail has been sent. I'm also not beating myself up so much when I think or feel things that my spiritual self would otherwise deem as "base." Grief sucks, fear sucks, and here I am. I love myself more because I know how hard I work at being good. I love myself because I am human.  

It feels good to simply breathe that in.

With Great Thanks,

Melissa Simonson
Founder & CEO of JoyDiva™
Own your worth. Own your wisdom.
CELEBRATE who you are! 

Ready to start cherishing yourself while actively creating more joy and confidence in your life? Claim your FREE Self-Love SuperStar Kit here:  www.joydiva.com

©2011 Melissa Simonson

Taking Space in Our Relationships

I love the healing and growth that can come out of taking space from people sometimes...even when that space needs to last for years...and the cool discoveries that can happen when we reconnect. A wise woman I know once said to me, "You can love anyone from a certain distance, and you just need to figure out what that distance is." Sometimes taking space is the most powerful way that we can love one another.

Are there people in your life that you are afraid to let go of who are not fully serving you right now?  Has someone needed to create space and you're feeling all of your fears of rejection and abandonment coming up?  I invite you to dive into those feelings--what are those fears trying to tell you that you need to give to yourself? What nurturing activities can you do on your own to bring you into your groundedness? And finally, what are the gifts that could come out of letting go and taking space...for both you and the other person?

 With Much Love,

:)Melissa Simonson
Astrology Coach, Inspirational Speaker,  

and Singer-songwriter

www.igniteyourvoice.com

©2011 Melissa Simonson

Upcoming Retreat: Envision Your Life, 2011 and Beyond!

Hello Lovelies!

On Saturday, March 5th, 2011 from 9am to 4pm (only a little over two months away!) 12 women and I will embark on a journey of discovering infinite possibilities for our lives. Through Journaling around powerful inquiries, engaging our bodies in gentle movement led by certified Yoga instructor, Laura Godfrey (click here to learn more about Laura), expressing ourselves through creative projects, and sharing our hopes and fears with one another, we will explore our dreams, discover and work toward releasing the limiting beliefs that hold us back, and create practical steps toward making our visions for our lives a passionate reality.

If you think that sounds like a wonderful experience, it gets even better! Not only will we be embarking on a life-changing journey with other amazing women, we will be doing so amidst the beautiful natural landscape and centering facilities of the Platinum LEED Certified Holy Wisdom Monastery, a retreat center located just on the edge of Middleton, WI. To learn more about this AMAZING space and their offerings, visit, http://www.benedictinewomen.org/. This building is as environmentally sustainable as it gets and incredibly beautiful! I can’t wait for us to grow in it together!

This retreat is a wonderful alternative (and antidote!) to overwhelming New Year's resolutions and perfect for all of you women who want to start off this next year...and the rest of your lives, more in alignment with who you REALLY are...your fabulous, passionate, joyful selves. Yippee! I can't wait! And GUESS WHAT?! It gets EVEN better!

I am offering an EARLY BIRD SPECIAL from now until February 2nd, 2011. That’s right. From now until February 2nd, I am making this retreat available for just $99—that includes:

- a delicious, all natural lunch provided by the staff at Holy Wisdom Monastery
- all retreat materials
- time to reflect on and explore your inner most dreams
- time to connect with beautiful, natural surroundings
- discovering the core limiting beliefs and behaviors that keep you from your dreams
- tools to release your limiting beliefs and positive steps toward creating your joyful vision right away
- have the opportunity to experience my loving, acknowledgment-based coaching in action.
- connection with other fabulous women (!)
- the ability to express yourself in a safe, and accepting environment
- an opportunity to connect with your body and explore it's innate wisdom
- an opportunity to connect with your creative power
- re-igniting or igniting for the first time your passion and inspiration
- and the opportunity to create positive,  lasting, joyful results for the rest of your life.

Contact me TODAY to register for Envision Your Life!
After February 2nd the cost goes up to $129, so you better ACT NOW as I am only accepting 12 women in order to allow plenty of time and intimate connection for all who attend. Don’t miss your chance to experience this amazingly fun and nurturing event and all of the positive growth that will follow!

Much Love and I can't WAIT to see you in March!

:)Melissa Simonson
Astrology Coach, Inspirational Speaker,

and Singer-songwriter
www.igniteyourvoice.com

©2011 Melissa Simonson

Breathing In Life

"I took a deep breath and listened to the old bray of my heart: I am, I am, I am." ~Sylvia Plath

When I look back upon this last year, it's been a year of taking a step back, clarifying my vision and gaining confidence in new directions. It has been one of the most challenging years that I can recall, one of not always feeling fully at home in my own skin, a lot of unknowns, and many moments of self-doubt. I branched out as a speaker and singer/songwriter while at the same time experiencing my Spiritual Coaching and Astrology practice at somewhat of a standstill. The shift in our economy was a painful experience for me but in many ways, exactly what I needed. I needed a break. I needed to recharge. It was time for a long, deep, breath.

In looking at many of life's processes, I can't help but notice that there is an in-breath and an out-breath to all of existence. I'm reminded of the famous Biblical passage from Ecclesiastes that was popularized in 1965 by The Byrds--this theme shows up in religious traditions throughout time: "There is a time to rend and a time to sew;...a time to keep silent and a time to speak;... a time to mourn and a time to dance." We breathe in; we breathe out. When it comes to creating our lives, this process is no different--yet, so many of us, myself included, can find it so much easier to run around doing, doing, doing and we don't make time for a deep in-breath, both literally and figuratively. After a long period of exhaling into my life, it was time to stop, pause, and fill myself up again; and if I really assess the challenges presented to me in this past year, I can't help but notice that it was my own resistance to all that is that brought so much unease into my experience. It is a much more vulnerable experience to breath-in, to sit still and receive, than it is to be in the confident space of breathing into the world. In many ways, I felt lost, alone and wanting to be anywhere but here. Sound familiar?

It is easy to forget that we co-create our lives with God/Universe/Spirit/Source. When it comes to manifesting all of the goodness that we can muster into our lives, we can so easily try to force things, to think that if we are not doing something at all times to bring that vision into reality that it won't happen, that our dreams won't come true. I was forced to take a long hard look at this behavior in this past year. I see it in myself and in my clients all of the time. It can feel TERRIFYING to sit back and wait for inspiration, to trust that if we don't have the answer NOW that it will come later. Yet, I've learned that if I don't honor the need for stillness, or to take a nap, or to read Harry Potter, or play when I feel like I "should be doing something important", I rob myself of the support that I need. I keep myself from "hearing" the answers, from knowing what is truly right for me, and in those moments, I'm not trusting that there is a time, and a purpose for everything that is unfolding. I'm not giving myself the nutrients that a nice, long inhale provides.

In co-creating our lives we must take time to breathe in--to envision what it is that we want to create, to feel all of the passion and excitement around that vision, and then to remain open for inspiration to help us move toward that vision. It is THEN, that we are able to breathe out goodness into the world, acting on that inspiration, doing all that we can with what we know and have in front of us to move that vision into reality. We then continue the cycle by breathing in again until inspiration strikes us once more.

So, after a long year of resisting this process and being terrified of doing "nothing" and at times, working REALLY HARD at "nothing" ;), I've discovered that it is in the moments when I let myself play, relax, rest and be still that I am infinitely supported, and life unfolds with ease. When I've allowed myself to truly BE whatever I need to be within each moment, songs have been written, new visions for my business have been born--a great deal of new additions will be added to my website in the new year. This has happened all in the perfect, right amount of time. What would it be like if I release more of my resistance to this natural process of life and make that much more time for freedom, ease and joy? I am absolutely willing to find out! :)

In this next year, I am inviting all of us to give ourselves a break and to trust in all that is unfolding. Take a deep breath--all is as it needs to be, and we are loved by every process. Even if you find yourself doubting and struggling against this, I invite you to do as one of my favorite spiritual teachers, Adyashanti, has said, "Enjoy yourself. Even when you're not." In every moment that we are alive, there is goodness to be found.

As always, if you would like support in embracing and celebrating the many beautiful aspects of your being, contact me for a free sample session: igniteyourvoice@gmail.com. I look forward to getting to know you!

©2009 Melissa Simonson

WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR EZINE OR WEBSITE? No problem!--as long as you use this entire blurb with it: As an Inspirational Speaker, Joy Coach and Spiritual Astrologer, Melissa Simonson sees it as her life's work to be an authentic expression of her inner truth, and to assist others in being the same. Melissa creates a space of fun and acceptance as she invites her clients to discover the extraordinary within their everyday lives. By asking powerful questions and bringing the spiritual down to earth through her own stories, she helps individuals realize that joy and abundance are not impossible to obtain, but rather a birth-right that we can realize at any time. Visit www.igniteyourvoice.com to learn more.