Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Taking Space in Our Relationships

I love the healing and growth that can come out of taking space from people sometimes...even when that space needs to last for years...and the cool discoveries that can happen when we reconnect. A wise woman I know once said to me, "You can love anyone from a certain distance, and you just need to figure out what that distance is." Sometimes taking space is the most powerful way that we can love one another.
Are there people in your life that you are afraid to let go of who are not fully serving you right now?  Has someone needed to create space and you're feeling all of your fears of rejection and abandonment coming up?  I invite you to dive into those feelings--what are those fears trying to tell you that you need to give to yourself? What nurturing activities can you do on your own to bring you into your groundedness? And finally, what are the gifts that could come out of letting go and taking space...for both you and the other person?
 With Much Love,

:
)Melissa Simonson
Astrology Coach, Inspirational Speaker,
 
and Singer-songwriter
www.igniteyourvoice.com

©2011 Melissa Simonson

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Receving As a Spiritual Act

"Should not the giver be thankful that the receiver received? Is not giving a need? Is not receiving mercy?" ~Nietzsche

This past Saturday, I embarked on what is in many ways the most vulnerable journey that I've ever taken, and it has caused me to think a lot about my own beliefs and what I perceive to be our collective beliefs regarding both giving and receiving. 

As a Life Coach, I spend a lot of time mentoring my clients in how to receive.  Let's face it: giving feels good.  It brings us joy.  We get to feel the warm fuzzies of making someone else's day better.  It gives us a sense of validation and worth.  When looking for quotations on this topic I found loads and loads of statements along the lines of, "He who gives is the golden child and deserves all of our love and adoration."  But what about receiving?  To open ourselves to communicate our needs, to allow ourselves to breathe in goodness, to fully own a compliment, to set boundaries for ourselves, to indulge in something that feels nurturing--these things all feel pretty darn scary to ask for, vulnerable, self-centered, you name it,
and it certainly was challenging to find quotations that PRAISE receiving, barring our friend Nietzsche the Nihilist, quoted above.  Isn't it the humble thing to shirk off a compliment, to decline help when it is offered?  And God forbid one should be allowed to actually ASK for what one needs!  Yikes!

Yes, it is true that when giving talks about cultivating joy in our lives, I invite people to approach their lives from a place of service, but I ALSO, invite people to take time to acknowledge themselves, to set healthy boundaries, to RECEIVE, to honor the truth of who they are.  The truth is that giving and receiving are not separate actions at all--they are a part of the larger ebb and flow of existence.  We cannot have one without the other, and we cannot have JOY without embracing both equally in our lives.  We cannot breathe out without breathing in, and vice versa.


"Should not the giver be thankful that the receiver received? Is not giving a need? Is not receiving mercy?" ~Nietzsche
I love this quotation because it points to both giving and receiving as necessary acts--we need to give just as much as we need to receive, and when we don't allow ourselves to fully receive, we rob the giver of this need.  Here is a recent story from a friend of mine that powerfully illustrates this:

"My younger son gave us some of his money yesterday and I took it and my husband refused. Then I got [my husband] to see that he should also gratefully take it. Then my son tried to give his older brother 5 bucks when he came home and the older one would NOT accept. And it made the younger one CRY. It was so sad. Yes, in failing to receive we fail the joy of the giver as well."

In receiving we give, and in giving, we receive--this little boy understands this, perfectly.

Yes, this past Saturday I embarked on one the most vulnerable journeys of my life thus far--I started an online fundraising campaign for my debut CD, "Be a Light."  In the days since, I have felt isolation, shame, guilt, and my self-talk has been a fascinating array of judgments that reflect all of these feelings.  I have boldly and courageously thrust myself into the role of receiver, and in this culture that praises givers, it has been a lonely place to live.  And yet, I am growing, learning and simultaneously feeling more and more worthy to ask for what I need everyday.  I realize now that fundraising has become a spiritual act for me--an opportunity to dive into these feelings and recognize that I am part of this larger ebb and flow, and that I am worth communicating my needs fully.  I give of myself everyday as a giver, nurturer, and supporter of dreams.  Now, it is my turn to open up and be a receptacle--to breathe in so that I can breathe out my musical goodness more fully into the world.  As scary as this all is, I am proud of myself for boldly asking for support, and I hope that in my vulnerability, I might inspire others to do the same.

Click here to watch an amazing video and learn more about my fundraising journey:http://www.indiegogo.com/BeALightCD

With Much Love and Gratitude,



and Singer-songwriter
www.igniteyourvoice.com

©2011 Melissa Simonson

Friday, January 7, 2011

Upcoming Retreat: Envision Your Life, 2011 and Beyond!

Hello Lovelies!believe52-star-born-to-be-you

On Saturday, March 5th, 2011 from 9am to 4pm (only a little over two months away!) 12 women and I will embark on a journey of discovering infinite possibilities for our lives. Through Journaling around powerful inquiries, engaging our bodies in gentle movement led by certified Yoga instructor, Laura Godfrey (click here to learn more about Laura), expressing ourselves through creative projects, and sharing our hopes and fears with one another, we will explore our dreams, discover and work toward releasing the limiting beliefs that hold us back, and create practical steps toward making our visions for our lives a passionate reality.

If you think tmonastery6hat sounds like a wonderful experience, it gets even better! Not only will we be embarking on a life-changing journey with other amazing women, we will be doing so amidst the beautiful natural landscape and centering facilities of the Platinum LEED Certified Holy Wisdom Monastery, a retreat center located just on the edge of Middleton, WI. To learn more about this AMAZING space and their offerings, visit, http://www.benedictinewomen.org/. This building is as environmentally sustainable as it gets and incredibly beautiful! I can’t wait for us to grow in it together!
winter_trees
This retreat is a wonderful alternative (and antidote!) to overwhelming New Year's resolutions and perfect for all of you women who want to start off this next year...and the rest of your lives, more in alignment with who you REALLY are...your fabulous, passionate, joyful selves. Yippee! I can't wait! And GUESS WHAT?! It gets EVEN better!

I am offering an EARLY BIRD SPECIAL from now until February 2nd, 2011. That’s right. From now until February 2nd, I am making this retreat available for just $99—that includes:

- a delicious, all natural lunch provided by the staff at Holy Wisdom Monastery
- all retreat materials
- time to reflect on and explore your inner most dreams
- time to connect with beautiful, natural surroundings
- discovering the core limiting beliefs and behaviors that keep you from your dreams
- tools to release your limiting beliefs and positive steps toward creating your joyful vision right away
- have the opportunity to experience my loving, acknowledgment-based coaching in action.
- connection with other fabulous women (!)
- the ability to express yourself in a safe, and accepting environment
- an opportunity to connect with your body and explore it's innate wisdom
- an opportunity to connect with your creative power
- re-igniting or igniting for the first time your passion and inspiration
- and the opportunity to create positive,  lasting, joyful results for the rest of your life.

Contact me TODAY to register for Envision Your Life!
After February 2nd the cost goes up to $129, so you better ACT NOW as I am only accepting 12 women in order to allow plenty of time and intimate connection for all who attend. Don’t miss your chance to experience this amazingly fun and nurturing event and all of the positive growth that will follow!


Much Love and I can't WAIT to see you in March!


:)Melissa Simonson
Astrology Coach, Inspirational Speaker,
and Singer-songwriter
www.igniteyourvoice.com

©2011 Melissa Simonson

Monday, December 27, 2010

This Year I Resolve to be Kind to Myself *


A few days ago I misplaced my car keys for what felt like the millionth time.  Of course, it was only an hour before I had to lead an after school girl’s group at a local middle school; and of course, I realized that my car keys were sitting in the front seat of someone else’s car on the other side of town.  It was nothing short of a hair-pulling, expletive-screaming, time-to-pause-and-take-deep-breaths kind of experience.  Needless to say, I was more than a little bit frustrated with myself in that moment.

As we embark on yet another new year, I could resolve to end these car-key catastrophes once and for all—getting one, or perhaps 5, spare sets would probably solve the problem.  I could resolve to be more organized, thus avoiding these hectic moments, but let’s face it people.  I was the kid who not only needed her mittens sewn to the sleeves of her winter jacket, I was also the kid who needed an organizer on her desk in the fifth grade to ensure that she took the correct folders home from school.  If it’s not my keys, or my mittens, or my homework eluding me, then it’s probably going to be something else.  That’s just…me.  This year, instead of steeping myself in piles of well-wishes and adding to a list of good intentions that make my stomach churn, I simply resolve to be kind to myself.

In all of our good intentions it can become so easy to lose the most important ingredient in living a joyful life: the truth of who we are--the fact that we are loveable no matter what the bathroom scale says, or how much money is in our bank account, or how good we are at keeping track of our car keys.  As human beings, we attach ourselves to an illusion of perfection, the belief that we are somehow not enough as we are.  One day, we look into the mirror, and all that we can see are the ways in which we don’t measure up. 

The exciting news is that we have a choice.  We do not have to buy into that illusion.  We do not have to resolve to be somehow better than we are, to be more than we are, and it is entirely possible to love ourselves—as challenging as that may seem, at first.

One of the most powerful tools that we have in creating joy is our ability to acknowledge ourselves, to draw our attention to the good in who we are and what we do.  My primary role as a life coach is to direct my clients toward rediscovering the magnificence that shines through them every day.  The truth is YOU are magnificent. We all are.  We each have a unique gift to offer the world, and believe it or not, we each offer that gift every day that we rise.  I invite you to pause and ask yourself, “In what ways do I give a gift every single day?”


The more that you focus on all that is magnificent within you, the more you will see those parts of yourself thriving, and many of the parts that frustrate you will begin to fall away.  Just like we did when we were children, we thrive when we feel loved and accepted.  If you so desperately want to be good, to be a success, I suggest that you start seeking the good within yourself, right now.  You will be amazed at what you find.

One thing that I know for certain is that the part of me that causes me to misplace my car keys is also the part of me that allows me to be creative and quirky and spontaneously joyful.  I am constantly exploring and theorizing.  I am a woman of high ideals and bright ideas.  Organizing stuff might not be my forte, but being present and compassionate with people is.  If I hadn’t experienced my missing car-key fiasco the other day, I wouldn’t have had a laughter-producing story to share with the girls that I teach. 

And so, this year, before you resolve to climb a hill of high expectations, I invite you to pause and ask yourself, “In what ways do I give a gift every day?” Get creative—see how long that you can make that list; and if you forget to ask yourself that question, be kind to yourself anyway.  After all, you are magnificent…just as you are.



and Singer-songwriter
www.igniteyourvoice.com

©2010 Melissa Simonson

WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR EZINE OR WEBSITE? No problem!--as long as you use this entire blurb with it: As an Astrology Coach, Speaker, and Singer/Songwriter, Melissa Simonson sees it as her life's work to be an authentic expression of her inner truth, and to assist others in being the same. Melissa creates a space of fun and acceptance as she invites her clients to discover the extraordinary within their everyday lives. By asking powerful questions and bringing the spiritual down to earth through her own stories, she helps individuals realize that joy and abundance are not impossible to obtain, but rather a birth-right that we can realize at any time. To learn more, visit: www.igniteyourvoice.com

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

So Much to Love...


I'm acutely aware of the rich abundance that is my life these days.  I'm noticing the people that I'm meeting, the opportunities that are unfolding, and I am seeing co-creation in action.  I'm tearing up about all of the goodness and magical wonder on a regular basis, which is always a good sign--my tears are always a product of abundant overflow within me and around me.

Yesterday, I found myself sitting down with a new friend and colleague and being in awe of his loving spirit, in awe of his desire to give, and in awe of his solid trust in the positive unfolding of his life.  At the end of our connection I experienced him uttering the words, "My last question for you is: What are some other ways that I can help you?"

I found myself walking away from this meeting feeling full--of gratitude, of love, of possibility.  What this lovely person didn't know at the time that he asked me this question (at least know consciously, that is), is that for a month or two now I have been verbalizing to loved ones that I'm learning how to ask for help, that I'm opening myself to receiving support, that 2011 is going to be about support and collaboration for me. I couldn't help but notice that this kind of question, "How can I help you?" has been showing up in my life in many forms lately.  I experience this as a response to this exciting shift that is happening inside of me--I am opening myself to become a true receptacle, and in turn I'm discovering a new overflow inside of me.  I'm feeling excited about my life in ways that I haven't felt in a long time.  I'm feeling connected to the Divine.  I'm trusting.  I'm believing in the power of my own actions in relationship to this flow of support.

And from this place, I couldn't help but notice all of the people it took--amazing, overflowing people--and small, courageous choices that it took me to get to this meeting with this one loving person.  I started going backwards and found that there was this connective chain of glorious people and choices that I've been acting upon that date back years and years.  As I've chosen to move in the direction of that which brings me the most joy, I've made connection after connection that continues to move me forward, to give me the resources that I need to give my unique gifts to the world.  Hallelujah.  When I open me eyes to see the interconnectedness of all that is, I can't help but discover that I live an abundant existence. 

Wishing the same abundant goodness for you!

:)Melissa Simonson
Astrology Coach, Inspirational Speaker,
and Singer-songwriter
www.igniteyourvoice.com

©2010 Melissa Simonson

WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR EZINE OR WEBSITE? No problem!--as long as you use this entire blurb with it: As an Astrology Coach, Speaker, and Singer/Songwriter, Melissa Simonson sees it as her life's work to be an authentic expression of her inner truth, and to assist others in being the same. Melissa creates a space of fun and acceptance as she invites her clients to discover the extraordinary within their everyday lives. By asking powerful questions and bringing the spiritual down to earth through her own stories, she helps individuals realize that joy and abundance are not impossible to obtain, but rather a birth-right that we can realize at any time. To learn more, visit: www.igniteyourvoice.com

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Gratitude--A Light Amidst The Darkness

An oldie but goodie, I wrote the below article in December of 2008, but it's message continues to ring true today.
 
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"I would maintain that thanks are the highest form of thought; and that gratitude is happiness doubled by wonder." ~G.K. Chesterton

As we travel amongst this season of shorter days and longer nights, it can be a challenge, at times, to find the light within the darkness. The holidays are fast approaching and some of us might not feel the abundance of joy at this time of year that we would like to, some of us might be struggling to pay our bills as the world economy is rapidly shifting, for some it might be a reminder of loss, and for some it can merely be a stressful time filled with too many expectations and not enough sunlight.

This time of year challenges us to turn inward. It is a time of reflection and renewal--a time to discover our own unique source of light. The clearest, simplest way for us to make that light shine brighter, to fuel our joy, is through our ability to be grateful for even the smallest of things, the tiniest of moments, including those things that challenge us or create feelings of pain.

People often wonder what comes first, gratitude or joy. It is easy to feel grateful when we are feeling happy--the world seems to be one big toy store filled with all we could ever ask for; the more joy we experience the more grateful we feel. Yet, it is truly our gratitude that fuels our joy. When we find ways to be grateful for even our struggle, seeing the opportunities those challenges create, the growth, we plant seeds of joy that sprout in even the coldest and darkest of places.

I invite you to ask yourself, "What do I have to be grateful for in this moment?" Pay attention to the air that is feeding your lungs with oxygen, the shelter around you, the clothing on your body, the fact that you are here to breathe-in this moment in the first place. That in itself is a miracle. Now think about the relationships in your life, the loving ones and even the not-so-loving ones--what blessings have you received from all of those connections? Whether or not you are in a time of challenge or ease right now, in what way is the Universe loving you at every moment? What is the gift of this time? If you really allow yourself to answer these questions, the gifts that you discover will be infinite.

I have most certainly felt the impact of the current state of our economy--my own clients getting laid off from jobs and less people choosing to invest in their own personal growth at this time of year, and yet, I feel more abundant than ever. The true gift of this time is that despite my inability to splurge on pretty things and travel adventures, I am happy. I am seeing how full my life is, that I ALWAYS have what I truly need, no matter what. As I prepare for a busier coaching season ahead, my relationship with my finances is clearer and healthier than ever. This awakening would not have been possible without the opportunity I've had to experience having significantly less. I feel very loved by this time because I now know how to better manage my money--that is clearly a life long lesson that will only bring me more!

In what ways are you being prepared for the life that you want for yourself? How might you turn times of struggle into opportunities for joy? As you discover the myriad of ways in which you have to be grateful (the list is endless--I promise!) you will discover a light to carry with you in even the darkest of times. The miracle of this season is not in the sparkling lights or our ability to top last year's presents, it lies in our ability to ignite that light of thankfulness within our hearts and shine it so that others might benefit from our joy. I invite you to dig deeply into even the darkest of spaces and delight in what you find.

Would you like some assistance in seeing the bigger picture and finding all that you have to be grateful for? I would love nothing more than to help you discover the beautiful life that awaits you. Through a series of powerful inquiries and looking at your Astrological Chart I can reveal some powerful tools that you have within you to start living a life of passion and purpose, NOW. Contact me for your FREE Joy-Awakening Call so that we can explore the many ways that my coaching will support you in living your best life OUT LOUD!: igniteyourvoice@gmail.com.

With Love and Deep Gratitude,

:)Melissa Simonson
Astrology Coach, Inspirational Speaker,

and Singer-songwriter
www.igniteyourvoice.com

©2008 Melissa Simonson

WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR EZINE OR WEBSITE? No problem!--as long as you use this entire blurb with it: As an Astrology Coach, Speaker, and Singer/Songwriter, Melissa Simonson sees it as her life's work to be an authentic expression of her inner truth, and to assist others in being the same. Melissa creates a space of fun and acceptance as she invites her clients to discover the extraordinary within their everyday lives. By asking powerful questions and bringing the spiritual down to earth through her own stories, she helps individuals realize that joy and abundance are not impossible to obtain, but rather a birth-right that we can realize at any time. To learn more, visit: www.igniteyourvoice.com

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Say "YES!" to saying "NO!" :)

 
"Half of the troubles of this life can be traced to saying yes too quickly and not saying no soon enough." ~ Josh Billings

I found myself honored recently when a friend told me that she felt comfortable asking me for help because she trusted that I would say "no" if I didn't want to or was unable help.  This simple statement meant a lot to me and illustrates a powerful truth: When we honor ourselves and others with boundaries, we create ease, freedom, and comfort in our relationships.  My friend knew that she could trust me to be honest, that by asking me for help, I would not make myself uncomfortable in order to please her.  She felt free knowing that I am able to take responsibility for my own self-care, and she also felt really grateful upon receiving my "yes," knowing that it was heartfelt and sincere.


Every time that we say "yes" when we really mean "no," we are undermining our inherent worth.  We are saying, "I am not worthy of honoring what I want and what feels good to me.  If I want your love, I need to do something or be something that I am not."  Oh, silly Ego--always trying to tell us that we're not enough.  The truth is, YOU ARE ENOUGH!  The truth is, there is nothing that any of us ever has to do or be other than what feels nurturing to us.  When we honor this truth, we discover the beautiful, abundant, overwhelming power of self-love, TRUE love.  Every time that we jump through hoops in hopes to gain love and approval, we keep that love and approval at arms length--we are saying that love is something outside of us that we do not already possess within.  We do not serve anyone, ourselves or others, by dishonoring our internal "no."  Instead, we are merely giving our power away in our attempt to please.


The irony is that in all of our efforts to please, we are actually placing a lot of responsibility and burden on those that we care about.  My friend found freedom and comfort in my ability to say "no" because she didn't have to worry about whether or not I was feeling uncomfortable, harboring resentments, or going to have hidden expectations--she knew that she didn't have to be anything but simply grateful.  By practicing self-care on a regular basis, I gave her the space to practice her own self-care.  By setting healthy boundaries in my relationships, I am tapping into the love that is at my core and my "yes" can come from an internal space of feeling full--my kindness is able to come forth simply because I have love to give.  No neediness, no hidden expectations--by honoring my boundaries, I've become my own kind of high-powered love generator, with plenty to give and little need for outside maintenance. :)  


In what ways might you find yourself saying, "yes" when you really mean, "no?"  Whether it be your boss, your spouse, your best friend, your children, or the person you've just met, it can be so easy to find yourself slipping into this all-so-human pattern to please.  What are some of the positive ways that these relationships would start to shift by simply honoring your inner truth?  How would you feel about yourself if you practiced saying, "no" more often?  As always, I hope that you delight in what you find. 


©2010 Melissa Simonson

WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR EZINE OR WEBSITE? No problem!--as long as you use this entire blurb with it: As an Astrology Coach, Speaker, and Singer/Songwriter, Melissa Simonson sees it as her life's work to be an authentic expression of her inner truth, and to assist others in being the same. Melissa creates a space of fun and acceptance as she invites her clients to discover the extraordinary within their everyday lives. By asking powerful questions and bringing the spiritual down to earth through her own stories, she helps individuals realize that joy and abundance are not impossible to obtain, but rather a birth-right that we can realize at any time. Visit www.igniteyourvoice.com to le
arn more.